so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
