the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
