New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize