During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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