I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
