for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
