Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
