Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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