dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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