I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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