after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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