I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
