I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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