Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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