can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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