wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up under a house in Key West
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