Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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