do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize