Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
