I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize