Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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