I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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