They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize