I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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