You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
