you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
