im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
