OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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