you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I would ride that face into the sunset
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
