yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
