How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
