GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
