took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
