after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
