the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
