I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
