Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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