I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
