hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
