i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
