the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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