I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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