well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
