I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
