what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
