He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
