Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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