Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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