Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
