i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize