Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize