Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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