Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
