I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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