Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
