I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
