I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
